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Happy Birthday E.H.! m4w Dear E.H.,
I hope you have a wonderful Birthday! I am writing this because I need to get some things off my chest and hope this will help me move on. You have been in my thoughts constantly since we have gone our separate ways; I miss you more than you imagine and wish we could be together again. This time of year I especially think of you, it was our time of year and I have such fond memories of the times we shared throughout the fall seasons we spent together.
I know you will most likely not read this and it would be a miracle if you did. So I am putting this into the hands of the Universe and will let things happen as they need to. If by some chance you do see this you may consider it a sign that requires your attention; it would be up to you what you do with it.
I’m sure you have moved on, not looking back, chalking our relationship up as experience. You told me you had been with me since you were 21(7 years), so I guess that’s long enough for you. I do hope you at least got something out of it. In the beginning you were so involved and we shared so much together, I saw things in you that made our connection so strong and deep. Your parenting philosophies, world views, spiritual views, your intelligence, inner and outer beauty, health and diet priority, and our intimate/sexual connection was everything I ever could ask for in someone. You were and are the woman of my dreams. Now I look back and wonder if you ever really cared or wanted to be with me/us. We had so much in common from the beginning. I saw you as the perfect role model for my daughter, your attention to her and the way you wanted to be involved in her life. It seemed sincere; I often questioned it because when I asked you to make some small changes in your living habits for the safety of her you did not. What kind of person would say they care about a child and not have a desire to make some miniscule life changes that would be in the best interest of that child? This happened early in our relationship and I did my best to let it go, this was when I began to see your true personality. I hoped that someday you would change so I stuck it out as long as I could. Things seemed to keep going in that direction, all I asked for was communication, why you would do the things you did. All the while I saw the one person who I was most compatible with and her with me and wondered why you would not embrace what we had and what our relationship was founded on. I know your school and work schedule did not help but I always supported you and encouraged you to keep going, never once holding that against you.
I never had a relationship that lasted as long as I had with you. I gave you everything I possibly could give, more to you than any other person I know; I gave you my heart and soul. F’s needs always came first but you were always right up there with her. Through most of those seven years I would silently forgive you for many of the things you did that I did not agree with in the hopes that someday you would come around and really show a desire and interest to be involved wholeheartedly in the relationship again. Certainly there were rough times and I ed it off on two occasions. I did that because I felt I had no other option, it seemed like our relationship was a thorn in your side. When we got back together you always mentioned how you missed me. I always wanted you back and hoped that things would change.
Do you remember people saying they don’t know how I could put up with F’s mother’s crap for so long; you even said the same thing. Now others are saying the same about you. People we know are coming up to me and wondering how I could ever have put up with your selfishness and self centeredness as long as I did. They tell me they can’t take it from you for a short time. How do I answer that? It’s hard to defend you and it breaks my heart- it kills me inside. You even admitted how selfish you had been and you needed to be that way to get through school. I assured you it was ok and that I understood. You never once said that was not the kind of person you really are, you never said this is not the kind of person you want to be, and you never once said this was something you wanted to change or was going to change. So this must be who you really are.
Well, I just keep on rambling on here. So I just want you to know you will never have anyone like me again. Someone who thought of you before themselves, someone who gives you complete freedom and total understanding, someone who respects you for who and what you are, someone who will touch you and hold you and make love divorced swingers seeking casual porno sexy womens to you with the deepest emotion and sincerity that one’s heart can possibly give, someone who will think of you as beautiful even through your selfishness, someone who will look into your eyes and connect with your soul, someone who will love you unconditionally. These are all things that so many people would die for in a relationship; I gave them all and more to you willingly and freely never asking anything in return. Many would want this, and it is certainly fine if you don’t but why couldn’t you just tell me that.
Like I have mentioned I know you have moved on. Even if you did have any desire to work something out your stubbornness is far more important to you than someone who sincerely cares about you. There have been so many times that I have thought of you and wanted to you, I miss you so much. But then I force myself to stop thinking that way because I don’t need someone like you in my/our lives. It hurts so much because I miss what we once had and hope to have it again but I know you haven’t changed in the last three months. Maybe one day you will change, hopefully you will want to be with me again. I can only hope. How can I possibly deny the feelings I have for you in order to justify your actions? I don’t agree with the kind of person you are right now but I do not want to believe that this is who you really are. I beg you to prove me wrong.
Do you remember the time I held you on the balcony and said to you, “I feel this Universe was created just for us, so we could experience this moment together.” I have felt that way only one time before- when I held my newborn daughter for the first time.

D.D.