Sweet swingers searching casual encounter

Looking for a date I'm looking for a woman in her 30's to early 40's with a healthy mind and body...could be long term with the right woman.

Cold sunday needs to be warmed up m4w I'm going to be in Stockton for a little bit and am looking to meet up with someone for some fun. I obviously can't host, but I am mobile. I am DD free and so must you be. Send me a pic and i'll send one back. I am lbs. I'm not incredibly picky with size, but there still needs to be an attraction. Hope to hear from you soon!

Seeing you is the hardest w4m You made your choice. I am not sitting here hoping you change your mind. BUT this is driving me nuts.
You picked the woman who thinks you are nothing, who s you names, and emasculates you, who has over and over showed you she has no respect for you. That was your choice, because it is the only thing you have known before us. It was your choice because you are scared of being happy. It was your choice because you realize I am too good for you, and that you would, eventually, let me down. I understand, but these are risks I was willing to take, for the possibility of us being happy together.
I know you want me to be your friend. I know this is because you don't have anyone else and you know that with her that part is missing and always will be. But, you need to understand that it is unhealthy for me to be near you, around you, with you, for as long as I love you.
And I do. I don't want to hurt you further by cutting you off completely, but I am afraid I will have to. I need to heal, and move forward and need to let go of you entirely. I need to scalpel you out of my heart, before I can think about being around you again (if ever). Especially, because this transition from lover to friend seems so easy for you, so painless, so effortless. That only speaks louder to me about the inequality of our feelings for each other.
I need to speak to you and tell you that I can not be there for you when you , anymore. I can not be there for you when you are in need (that is her job now). I can not be there for you, to listen to the pain you carry when she hurts you (this hurt is now your choice and self imposed). I can not be there. At All. For my own sanity, for my own health, for my own ability to move forward. I need to focus on killing this love I have for you, and I can not do it as long as you are around. I know this will hurt you, but at least you have the illusion of having her be there for you to drown your hurt in. I have no one now, but soon, I too will be able to move forward and be happy. But please, just leave me alone.
Goodbye baby, and good luck. I hope I am totally wrong about her, and you find what we had, with her.

the human need to be loved, and on anomaly, or "black " I read a post in about someone being an anomaly. The possibility that it is for me is bittersweet, because it could be hopeful, but shows some of the difficulties I've had with someone. She and I didn't really have a relationship in a contemporary sense. We didn't date or have sex. We wrote, mostly. There were not any from me, but expressing myself and my feelings was not always easy, and probably seemed inconsistent at times. Where were the from? Other people? Why? I do not know. I can imagine some people and their reasons. I've got good karma I think, so the only reasons I can imagine would be in the faults of any such people. She and I would have to come together about it all to really make sense of it. Anomaly reminded me of the term, "black ," which is like a kind of anomaly. I thought I should just come out with some feelings, maybe because I have the need to. To my missed connection: You might wonder what's wrong with me. Why am I doing this? What can I say for myself? Why do I love you? How can that be? I saw in you that human need to be loved, and that you wanted to share that with me. I don't think I would have seen that if I did not have the same for you. It is like two souls seeing each other. I'm human, so I don't really know how souls communicate in every way. I know how I try to express mine, and how I sometimes see those of others. I really wanted to love you. It is like what two people really want. That is what I saw. I saw how that was possible, and I continue to see how that is possible. I have been devoted to that, not for a course that would make your feelings necessary, but in the case that they were there, and as deeply felt as mine. For reasons of their own, people may have given this impression of me or that. Maybe some of them didn't like me. Maybe some of them had a crush on me. Maybe some of them were messed up. But I was devoted to that, all along, to doing my best to care about those feelings, in myself, and in you. It was not always easy. It has not been easy. It has been very difficult at times. That may also seem strange to you, that I would have such devotion. I met a person the other day and for a moment I saw the same thing, that tender need, and an expression of it. Later I felt the same thing, and a compassion. But I was not the person to love her that way. Maybe I could have been. All I could do was pray that somehow I had a good place with her for that brief moment, something that made her feel better inside, perhaps inspired, and perhaps she met that person the next day, or will in the future. I cannot know. I had to believe in her . With you I felt something so much stronger, and closer, and very much from the heart and being. Very much from who we were, and maybe who we presently are, maybe something from who we always will be. Wherever that was coming from in you, I do not want you to lose it. I want to take care of it, and not just because it is what I want, but because it seemed very much like something you wanted also. However we can do that - that is why I am this way, and part of why I love you. So it is simple, if that part of you is there, and if it is like a part of me, or a part of you for me. That is what I feel from you. If it's not there anymore, then I have to love you for who you are, and ask you to help me in that.