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you don't have a good relationship, and, on the other hand you don't have a good relationship. Society has trained you to believe that you have an obligation to remain physiy unsatisfied in your relationship yet you are responsible for your wife's orgasm at the same time. Both are untrue. It is true that you are married to a selfish person. I would suspect that while you can recite things that she does that are 'giving', she is modelling what she wants to receive. Her lack of empathy is not something that you can bring gently to her attention with positive results. She is already aware. Your self doubt is a reasonable reaction to your circumstances, and should not be misinterpreted as insecurity. The attitude you have expressed is emotionally confident and secure and is similar to that of those happy in open or polyamorous relationships. Under different circumstances it might be a constructive direction for you but definitely definitely definitely NOT with this woman. Whether or not she is bi or lesbian is absolutely irrelevant and it is important that your intrigue does not persuade you to rationalize that fact away. Not only is she selfish, but she is completely comfortable willfully and consciously hurting you. That is not the sort of thing that go away with an honest conversation and a good cry. Whether or not she changes is important if you have as you need to maintain a relationship, but it is NOT important to you on a personal level. You or not remain friends after this dissolution runs it's course. "My wife of 12 years and I have had some physical compatibility issues for quite some time now. She is cold doesn't want a whole lot to do with me (physiy), and it almost seems like she cringes when I try to touch her ." The tell here is that she is and must already be self aware, yet she has not sought to resolve the issue. "Anyways, I told her that it would make me jealous, but that I wouldn't stand in her way if it would make her happy." You should not stand in her way, but you should also not forget that by choice she has been standing in yours. Surprised that she could so easily be described? don't be. She made a choice to deceive you and it is in your nature to believe her. Namiste

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