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I'm sure the standard 'counseling' statement and should be made..it's glaringly obvious you two are keeping secrets for one reason or another. Now..I can't say for sure but in relationships people normally keep secrets because they are afraid that honesty result in some bad shit hitting the fan. If he told you how your alcoholism has affected him..you might relapse, you might just how pissed off at you he is. He might be afraid he won't stop once he starts and you'll hear it ALL..and what would your reaction be? A lot of wars are started that way. I also think that you are expecting him to answer WAY too much.. You don't really elaborate but what exactly was he supposed to do or say about you being unhappy? Number one he'd have to be a complete idiot not to get that, you became an addict for shit's sake. don't know too addicts who had zero fucking issues and were happy larks. and two, it is % up to you to identify why the fuck you aren't happy and relay your needs, in a manner that does NOT make the other person responsible for your condition. That is YOUR job, exactly what is he supposed to do about it? When now I don't know if this is how it came out you make a statement and leave it all open ended like you wrote..its a trap. Its saying ASK ME so I can start unloading on you. So..here you have some info but advice here only scratch the surface of the shit that is going on. You need to solve this shit on your own. Doesn't mean your marriage survive, but if you want to give it a shot you need to identify what you need in order to stay in the marriage, how this marriage looks as a working relationship and start taking steps to achieve that. NOT his steps.. YOUR steps. You can identify what you would LIKE from him but your focus need to be what YOU need to do. You're recovering, you're realizing how unhealthy buried bullshit is and your radar is in search mode. You know what that is? That's you KNOWING what's really there and looking for something to escape it. Fix that shit first, then go after what's going on..step by step. Then at least you're owning up to your end.
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