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you were my everything you meant everything to me. I didn't know it at first, but you were the world to me. so happy to see you and have you in my life. your terrible jokes and feeling like you were there. I miss laughing with you and spending all the time we did together I miss telling you secrets and talking about crushes. I miss you so very much I just don't think it will ever be the same. you don't know how much I wish I could go back. you don't know how much you mean to me. a cry - no, but devastated to know you aren't and weren't there for me - yes to feel so unappreciated and disrespected - yes. none of it meant anything to you. and I can't say it, but the most pain comes from being disappointed. putting all this faith into you and thinking wow there is someone out there who is worth it to know you could just dismiss someone with no regret is the worst my worth = meaningless my confidence = gone my and happiness = simply hiding the truth I was broken, but you broke me even more And I still love you and don't ever want a bad thing to happen to you I'll never have you back and it is the worst feeling one could have; to feel like there was something when there was nothing; to feel fulfilled and then to realize it was just a naive girl's delusion Life goes on, forget it, move on ha? ya think? i don't think I can and i just wish i could forget it all. but, it consumes every free thought I have; it has made it a routine for me to know how to cry in secret, wake up with my eyes swollen and learning how to put on makeup just the right way so no one can see the sadness; it's the fake that hurt the most because I think the last time I could really truly smile was with you you'll be missed so very dearly and i hope you get everything you want - that is true love i guess, letting go the most important person you can think of so they can be happy without you

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